I have such mixed feelings on time today — today being our two year wedding anniversary. At times, it feels like our wedding was forever ago. And then, on days like today, when I’m able to sit down and reflect — it feels like this day was just yesterday. I had been wanting to do a post for our anniversary, but every time I sat down to write it this last week, I couldn’t think of exactly what I wanted to share. I decided that I would write it on the fly so I sat down this morning, my iced-coffee filled for the second time, and the words just started pouring out. I’m sharing a few thoughts this morning on what this anniversary means to me, and what I have learned over the last 730 days.
Marriage Really Does Change Everything
It’s one of the most common questions — or actually statements — we get. “Nothing has changed, right?!” — mostly coming from other married people. While my answer is always, “No, nothing changed!” with a laugh — when I stopped to think about that, that’s really not the case. Marriage does feel different. Sure, nothing has really changed in our day-to-day lives. It’s not like marriage suddenly changes how you go about your day — especially in our case, since we lived together for four years before we even got engaged. But there has been a subtle mental shift that’s hard to explain. We were always so committed to each other, but I feel an intense level of commitment now — and I feel it more from Raja than I ever have. The words, “my husband” carry a lot more weight than I thought they would, and while it was tough to get used to saying it at the beginning, it’s starting to feel very natural.
The Questions Don’t Stop
I could probably write an entire post on this subject alone. We were together for about 7 1/2 years before we got engaged and man did we used to get pounded with questions on when we were getting engaged. I at first used to laugh and then after about 5 freaking years of hearing it became slightly enraged — not because of people’s interest or actual concern, but because it never seemed genuine and it was always the most RANDOM people to ask. Like, what the hell is it to you?! People we hadn’t spoken to in years would comment on our Instagram photos asking and trying to be all cute about it and it seriously started to drive me insane. I thought the questions would let off once we were engaged and luckily, they did for a short time. Since we pulled a fast one on people and got married within 7 months of getting engaged, most people didn’t even have time to ask the following up question — “So, when’s the wedding?!”
I thought that was bad. Now… I would take that question any day. The “So, when are you guys having kids?!” takes it up about 10 notches. For me… not being a complete OPEN BOOK to every human on earth, it’s too much. It’s such a personal question and puts me in such an awkward place to answer you. When are we having kids?! I have no clue. You can’t say that to people though, because they look at you like you’re nuts. But that’s the truth — we have no clue. We’re both running businesses out of our home that was supposed to be a house we would rent for a year or two before buying one of our own. That was five years ago. We’re house hunting in between working and traveling every weekend, other friend’s and family’s weddings, and the bridal and baby showers, and the bachelor and bachelorette weekends we’re throwing, and we’re not having much luck. Once we find a spot we love and move into it and start to feel settled — I have a feeling this will be a much different convo. But until then — it it what it is.
We Have The Travel Itch
Luckily, for us — we’re both self-employed. We’ve been trying to take advantage of every opportunity to travel — because, that’s what you people with kids TELL US TO DO. Travel now… you won’t be able to when you have kids. We had a couple of trips that we talked about planning for years and we’re just starting to cross all of those off the list. We always said we wanted to honeymoon for a few weeks in Italy — check! We talked about traveling to Beruit, Lebanon (where Raja’s whole family is from and where most still live) for 10 years and we’re FINALLY making that trip next month. We also wanted to travel to the South of France and visit some towns on the French Riviera — we killed two birds with one stone and will be heading there directly from Lebanon in September. My mom and I had been talking about taking a BIG TRIP together for years — so we finally sat down and planned a girls trip to London and Paris, happening this fall! Iceland is on my bucket list and I’ve been looking into that for early next year. We have the flexibility to travel after so many years of being constrained by work vacation time, and I want to take complete and total advantage of it while we can. The funny thing is — the same people who tell us to “travel now” are the same people who give us the side-eye when we share our vacation plans! “Must be nice!” is now what we hear and we just have to laugh.
I Made The Best Decision Of My Life
Absolutely zero regrets. I don’t want to sound all weak-sauce and say that you need another person in your life to make you happy or to complete you — because you don’t. But, marrying Raja was hands down the best decision I’ve made in 31 years. He is my partner in every single way. He’s my support system, my sounding board, and my favorite travel partner. My “I’ve had a long day and just want to sit on the couch and say nothing” TV buddy, my comic-relief when I’m way too serious, and my morning coffee maker. His drive inspires me. He seriously makes me want to be a better person — to learn new things and take risks, to be patient and kind when I normally want to scream and yell, to be more organized, to take pride in everything I do. He pushes me to try new food, to be more outgoing, and to know what I’m worth. He’s the cutest fur-dad to Mischa, and I know she’s just a little cat, but it’s amazing to see the way he cares for her — brushing her daily, wiping her face, carrying her around the house, and snuggling her at night. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and look over and see them cuddling together and I melt. He makes me feel more beautiful than I ever have with my constantly changing appearance — I swear my hair color and length has changed more in the last 2 years than ever before and I’ve struggled with weight and acne more in the last few years than I even did when I was a teenager. He is the backbone to this blog. He is constantly coming up with ideas to make it better. He shamelessly promotes it to every person he meets. He was the person who sat across from me at dinner during New York Fashion Week and told me to quit my job and that he believed in me. He’s had my back for the last 10 years and I’m so thankful for him. I seriously don’t know what I did to deserve him.
So, Happy Anniversary to the love of my life… Mr. Raja Tarabishy. I love you more than you’ll ever know.
*all photos Rebecca Arthurs